"Who can find a capable wife? She is far more precious than jewels...
She draws on her strength, and reveals that her arms are strong...
She watches over the activities of her household, and is never idle."
Proverbs 31:10, 17, & 27
Well, if you are anything like me, your heart sank just a little bit at my comparison to the "Proverbs 31" woman... I know without a doubt... I will *never* measure up to her... I mean, who could? She is the essence of perfection... which is something that I am *not*. I remember when my husband and I were dating, or maybe even before, he said he wanted a wife who was a "Proverbs 31" woman... I could have so easily said "get real buddy! That just isn't going to happen!" Instead, I wrote a prayer journal.
For each of the verses I wrote a prayer for his future wife. I lived in Texas for several months and a friend there (who was also our Bible Study leader) told our study group [my paraphrase]: "if you like somebody, pray for their future spouse. If you know what they're looking for in a spouse, pray specifically for that. No matter the out come, God will bless your friend with the spouse they desire. If you are that spouse, maybe God will work on things that need to be worked on in your life to make you the person that they desire."
Well I am not this illusive woman, as I have already stated. So I came up with prayers that made it possible for God to build these traits in me. I'm over 5 months into marriage, and still can't see that work begun in me. It's so frustrating!
I want to keep a clean house! I remember when we were thinking about where to live, Abraham told me that he thought we should get a house because it'd be more "fun" for me to set up our first home in a real house. We got a 1 bed, 1 bath. The house is adorable: a small kitchen, dining nook, bedroom, living room, sun room, enclosed porch, basement, bathroom, and laundry room. It seriously could be a dollhouse, if only I had the gumption to keep it clean! I feel like such a failure. I am working part time which for the most part, plays out to (2) 5 hour shifts a week, sometimes 3. And my little house is a wreck.
I don't get it. Both my mom and my Grandmother had huge homes. And those women did their darnedest to keep their homes neat and tidy. I have the work ethic, and the elbow grease... I worked part time at Arby's once... I failed with the food service, but boy oh boy did I bring a sparkle to the kitchen... They had planned on letting me go, but when I asked to stay on one day a week and clean, they were more than happy to do so. One time, I took a small hand scrubber and scrubbed the grease drippings outside. It went from looking like a bed of black tar to fresh laid cement. I know I can clean!
You might say "oh, well obviously you want to be out in the work force..." I'd have to say that that would be a true statement to a certain degree. However, all my life when asked what I wanted to do when I grew up I would only know for sure that I was supposed to be a wife and a mother. Any and all other careers bounced around in my head and then right back out of it. So how does my desire meet reality?
I want and crave a clean environment, but have no clue where to start! Please, I would love to hear ideas! I've got nothing and 3 days left until I work again.
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