A note on Chivalry.

A forewarning... I am not sure when I wrote this, but I have an idea... the partner I refer to is not my husband, but I still find this applicable to life (even mine, though my husband does bring home chocolates and flowers!), so I am sharing it. Please take it with a grain of salt, as it was a young me who was the author of this piece. I have tweaked it, pre-posting, because I felt there were ways to make it flow a bit easier.  

Often I wonder about the idea of love. What is it exactly that makes women swoon at the idea of being romanced? I am a woman who finds myself in a place where I don’t need gifts to prove to me that I am loved. The idea of flowers and chocolates seems so cliché.

So why is it that the idea of receiving such tokens is appealing? As I ponder the worth of such gifts, I am forced to realize. Simply because it may not have monetary value, such offerings are not worthless. They are the beginnings of memories. A rose given to a woman might be pressed into a book, and years down the line, discovered by her children or grandchildren. Suddenly, it is part of a legacy.

I find myself caught up in the idea that perhaps it is more than just a simple gesture. What if it is a reflection of something thought to be long dead? What if, in fact, it is chivalry in its purest form? After the feminist movement, women began to shun men for being gentleman. While I am most grateful to the women who fought to give my generation a voice, I almost feel that more harm was done than not. 

No longer do men see us as treasures. We are independent, and strong. So often, we are not taken care of. I myself have laid awake at night, hoping that perhaps the man I am seeing would show up at my door simply because he missed me. On days such as Valentine’s where corporations push the idea of love onto consumers, I have found myself glancing at the doors of my work all day. Why? Because I hope that at any moment, those doors will open and I will be showered with gifts to show I am adored.

When such wishes are not fulfilled I am flooded with disappointment. How dare he not know what I have not told him? Of course I want flowers! I am, after all, a woman. But what good is it to rage inwardly, and later give a cold shoulder to a rather confused partner? Women no longer voice that we want those small things that make us feel like we are his world. Where does the fault lie? We cannot blame men for being ignorant of our desires.

I find myself humored at how little I myself know of the male species. So knowing that men are a mystery to women only leaves room to assume vice versa is also true. Women must assume that men do not know our inner thoughts and desires. It is time to voice the idea. Perhaps chivalry is not dead. True, it is an idea that had long been doormat, but with a little bit of effort, I believe it can be revived.

Please do not think I lay all the responsibility on men. Women have an equal share in the current status of chivalry. It is time for women to show to the men that they love that such gestures are greatly appreciated. It is time to reveal that in fact we do believe that such tokens of affection mean the world to us. We want romanced, but we need to show our men that it is, in fact, worth the effort.